What led me to get my first rhinoplasty
I never liked my nose, it was big and made me feel self conscious. I always felt like people were staring at it and talking about it. I was so paranoid that when I heard laughter, I used to think people were laughing at my nose. I used to backcomb my hair a lot to give it volume, as I felt like slick hair made my nose stand out more. My makeup was always very heavy, especially on the eyes and lips as I thought that would draw attention away from my nose.
Although I felt my nose was ruining my face, I was worried to undergo rhinoplasty. I was afraid that a different nose shape might not suit me and I would end up looking even worse. I read a lot of horror stories online and was afraid that I might experience breathing problems after. I also feared that in the worst case scenario my nose would just collapse. People were telling me that if I get rhinoplasty, I might lose my character as my nose apparently gave me a unique look. So under the pretences that my big nose made me different, I just lived with it. So, I continued to alter angels and lighting when taking pictures to give it a smaller look.
How I picked my plastic surgeon
After years of extensive research into pros and cons of rhinoplasty, I decided to go through with it. Initially when I was considering rhinoplasty, I went for a consultation in the UK at a clinic called Transform. At the time is was heavily advertised. I was quoted around £5,000 for the procedure but because I was so afraid to go through with rhinoplasty, I just did not proceed. In the UK compared to other countries, it is a very expensive procedure. Years later when I finally decided to undergo rhinoplasty, I decided to do it abroad to save costs. Upon some peoples’ recommendations I picked a plastic surgeon in Russia. I looked at his work on Instagram, which I liked. As I heard from people about his successful work, I booked my surgery at his clinic.
My surgery cost 40,000 Rubles which is significantly cheaper than this procedure would have cost me in the UK. This cost included pre surgery consultation, necessary blood tests and 2 nights stay at the hospital post surgery including food and medication. I did not attend the pre surgery consultation to save travel costs, as I was flying from the UK. My blood tests had to be done on the day of surgery, as I did not attend the pre surgery consultation. Normally such blood tests are done in advance, so there was a chance I would not be suitable to undergo surgery. Thankfully, my blood tests were fine and my trip ended up not being wasted.
What happened on the day of surgery
After completing paperwork, I was taken to a room with few other girls. The surgeon and anesthesiologist came to see us and discuss with each girl her desired outcome. I found a picture on Google in advance to show to the surgeon the type of nose I was expecting. We were then advised that the surgeries would be performed in the order each girl signed in on the day. I was one before last, so I had to wait until evening for my turn. Prior to surgery on the day, food consumption was prohibited so I was very hungry until my surgery. In the room there were few single beds where myself and the other girls would be staying post surgery.
I was paranoid as my surgery was so late in the day, the surgeon would not do a good job as he would be tiered. When my turn came, I had to change into a medical gown and I was given relaxant medication. I started to feel euphoric and my words made no sense after taking it. At this point I was taken to the operating room. In the operating room I saw another surgeon operating on a woman, by cutting into her leg. I felt horror after witnessing this but it was too late to pull out now. I was put under general anesthesia and fell asleep.
Prior to making a decision to have rhinoplasty, I read a lot of horror stories about people waking up during surgery. People reported that anesthesia awareness left them unable to signal that they were awake and some people even felt the pain of being cut into. My fears materialised and I woke up during my surgery. My eyes were taped and I was given muscle relaxants at the start of the surgery, so I could not signal that I was awake. I heard my surgeon speaking in the operating room with the nurses and the noise of the surgical instruments. I was trying my best to make a sound or a gesture but nothing was working. I did not feel pain but was panicking and eventually I passed out again.
Once the surgery was over, I was woken up by my surgeon in the operating room. I felt significant discomfort in my nose. I was told to move myself on to the gurney to be taken back to the recovery room. It was very difficult to move myself and I did not understand why they made me move myself, instead of just moving me themselves. I did tell the anesthesiologist that I woke up and felt scared during surgery, but he dismissed my claims. Anesthesia awareness is although rare, it is still a real occurrence. Since, I have been afraid of going under general anesthesia again. I was put under general anesthesia when I was a child, but I did not experience anesthesia awareness at that time. So now I avoid any surgeries which would require me being put under general anesthesia.
How I dealt with post surgery recovery
I was taken back to the recovery room, where I was given food and I just rested. Throughout my stay at the hospital, the nurses were administering pain medication and anti-infection injections. I felt significant discomfort because my nose was full of packing, so I had to breath through the mouth. I had to constantly drink water through the store and it was difficult to sleep, as my mouth was getting very dry. There was also liquid licking out of my nose through the packing, so I had to have padding under my nose. This padding was soaking the liquid and had to be changed frequently. It was not a nice feeling as the padding was wet from the liquid and my head felt blocked from the packing.
Eating was also difficult, as I had to simultaneously breath through the mouth. I did get some sleeping medication there, as that helped me to sleep through the discomfort. I had to sleep with an elevated head as otherwise breathing was difficult. At this point I regretted going through with rhinoplasty. Recovering at the hospital was not a pleasant experience and I wanted to be out of there.
When I was discharged, I had to buy medication to take for few weeks to avoid infection and nose bleeds. My nose packing remained in my nose for about a week and I could not taste food or drinks with it in. When it was taken out it did hurt a little as it was pulling out dried up nose hair and liquid. I did not go to the hospital to take out the nose packing, it was taken out at home with tweezers. My nose did bleed a little after and I had to wash it frequently with saline solution for weeks after. When packing came out everything smelt and tasted rotten for few days. I also had a lot of bruises under my eyes and I had to use a cream from bruising. After few weeks the bruising started to fade away. My face was swollen around my cheeks but that too subsided after few weeks. Washing my face or hair was difficult, as I could not wet the cast on my nose.
My cast was taken off after about 10 days and it was not painful. However, as I had dried up liquid by my nostrils the surgeon had to peel them off, which hurt. Afterwards my nose was swollen and required frequent massaging with a cream, for months. I had to use medical nose drops and creams inside my nose to avoid crusting, for few weeks. I could not sleep on my nose for 6 months or wear sunglasses. Over time the swelling on my nose decreased and it was taking its desired shape. After about a year my nose was still dry on the inside for a while and runny. So I used to moisturise it on the inside but after a while it went back to normal. I was very paranoid that someone would hit my face by accident and displace my new nose. So I used to avoid public places and people for sometime. All in all it took about a year to see my new nose shape. At that point, I realised that rhinoplasty was a good decision despite the long and uncomfortable recovery.
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